The BIG D- Diseases and Difference
I always preferred
companionship over isolation. However, the solitude and social stigmatizations
attached to diseases and the individual’s living with them never ceases to
amaze me. Diseases make us different and difference is difficult to embrace.
Through-out time we destroy difference. My question is, “Why? Why is different
so scary for us?”
Most of my cancer journey I chose to hide. I
was a criminal, violating the laws of the Nation. I had no medical or
Naturopathic supervision. The few friends of came around in the beginning, when
I was a beginning Survivor, but that dwindled over the years. It takes time to
survive cancer and more time to live with and manage cancer, and..., with
gratitude my story continues on.
I selected some pretty
unusual treatments for my cancer back then in 2007, including oxygen, enzymes
and marijuana. I used all my savings up until I had nothing left but my life
and my car. Whenever I could I told people my story. From Washington
to Connecticut , from Florida
to Arizona I
shared what I was doing. I was told I would die, I was told I was crazy, I was
shunned and shamed for ten years.
Now I am able to receive
a $200.00 month Food Stamp allotment and the State’s support for the unending dental
repairs from radiation damage. I knew I was one of the lucky ones who, through
grace, survived the disease and stayed out of prison. Many did not. At any
time, I could have easily died or been thrown into prison for violating the federal
Schedule 1 drug laws. Being shunned and shamed took secondary place. In place
of my emotional and mental healing, was my physical healing, keeping myself
alive and out of prison. That was my priority.
Several decades of Pink-washing profits
increase, as more and cancers erupt and this in turn has created an enormous,
unstoppable and very hungry industrial/medical beast. Many know the truth but they
are not ready to cause any undue alarms in the general population. Besides, we
have nothing to replace the system with and the argument stands.
After ten years of my hiding, the shift
towards Alternative healing has opened up some. More and more people who have
been hidden away have surfaced. The Medical Marijuana industry is taking shape
against the resistance of many. And it is just beginning. State after State
opens up to new medical marijuana dispensaries and medical marijuana patient
increase increases. A few have already legalized recreational marijuana and the
2016 Presidential election is a pivoting mechanism still awaiting an answer in
the Fall election.
In my State, the
winners of the Marijuana
State licensing lottery
spent a non-refundable exorbitant amount just to enter. Only a few could win.
What a load of upfront money from the beginning, I thought. Where does this
money go? Who is profiting and who is benefitting?
Medical marijuana
was an out-of-pocket expense for the patient and the stigma attached to using
plant-based medicine furthers the shame of those suffering with diseases who
are legally allowed a certain amount every month.
I had no desire to
end up in the Federal pen so I registered with the State. I had my medical
marijuana photo taken and an identification MMP card provided for me to carry
as proof and protection. As long as we obeyed the restrictions for the use of
the product we were safe from criminal prosecution. That’s what we all thought.
Even though it took a year to provide the
product to the patient, the State turned its head against the sources of
distribution. It took over a year before a legal dispensary was in place. It
did not matter where we got marijuana as long as we had a card. As you can
imagine, that caused a lot of confusion for everyone involved.
The collective
consciousness is shifting. The smart and wealthy people have begun to build the
Big business of marijuana. The drug cartel’s have a new enemy. America is
legally growing and distributing marijuana. As the industry grows its’ Mom and
Pop origins die and its’ Green Emerald Triangle farmers die with it. Big FDA,
Food and Drug and Agriculture regulated industries like pharmaceutical and
tobacco, the seed/patent ownership is now in place for the future control of
marijuana.
When I started
purchasing medical marijuana from the local pharmacy/dispensary, barely anyone
showed up and everyone was really sick and really uneasy. Camera’s are tucked
away in every corner of the building both inside and outside. All the glass is
bullet-proof and there are no windows on the building. Inside there are layers of
glass and walls which lead into the restricted back rooms. No one is allowed in
without a card and extra identification. No marijuana plants are visible. The
pharmacist’s wear white robes and all the marijuana is packaged and identified
with microchip tracking from the growers. Every product is sealed in containers
and presented similar to a pharmaceutical. Only certain diseases are allowed the
use of medical marijuana. The list continues to grow as the push for
legalization of marijuana for recreational use continues to gain momentum.
Inside the
pharmacy, people of all ages suffering with their maladies count the money they
are able to scrounge up, from wherever they can just to buy some medicine product.
The product is very expensive and not covered by any Insurance. it causes
people much hardship in order to obtain it. It is an out-of pocket expanse for
the patient and leaves the person in greater financial hardship.
I had no money
left by the time medical marijuana became available for me. Like many, I
thought of turning to the street just to turn a profit. Many people wanted the
product and had the money to give to a person who could legally obtain it. The
disease requirements kept expanding and people knew people who had access to
purchase the products. They may be suffering and they had some money. What to
do?
A pattern we
already had seen with corn, wheat and milk, with the GMO’S, pesticides and
herbicides. I wondered if legalizing would corrupt the plant, the flower and the
healing properties of the plant as it became more and more cloned and processed
in mass production. Was there was another way to grow our own marijuana plants
and still maintain a marijuana industry? Legal marijuana is a proven, profitable
cash business. But, when profits rule something nefarious always seems to
happen. Like a demon from the dark, it appears out of nowhere and rises up as a
force to be reckoned with. We can feel the rumbles of the thunder before we see
the flashes of the light and there is no way to stop the force.
The moment I chose
non-compliance with the traditional, medical Standard of Care treatments for my
cancer, everything changed. It was a very risky choice back then. Now, ten years later, it still very risky, but
now it seems more people are willing to take the risk. I wondered if my choice played
a role and set into motion a pebble that reverberated energetically so others
could choose different because choice matters.
I thought the
issue around marijuana would ethically and theologically resolve itself as we
became more loving and compassionate with one another. Indeed, it was very
risky, very political and very potentially life and liberty threatening then
and it still is now.
I lived in a time
where the world was divided over the use of marijuana for medical care and marijuana
for recreational use. We make wars out of everything we don’t like, we don’t
understand and we want to destroy. We went from the war on drugs to drug wars
to drugs for warfare to the war on cancer. Until the powers of control, it is
uncontrollable.
Ever since I
ventured into the alternative world my life changed, my friends changed and
fear shadowed. Not knowing who to trust, I pretty much trusted no one. I knew I
couldn’t trust the medical doctors, but my friends? Could I trust them? Was it
worth the risk to trust anyone? I wanted to keep my faith in people because
time and belief created new life.
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